Do the wishes of victims (or alleged victims) matter or not matter in handling cases?

With regard to a certain recent case at Dalhousie University's Dental School and the disciplinary measures that followed, the Globe and Mail asserted the following about the avenue the school was following:

It was the choice of the women who complained about the posts to the university to pursue an informal avenue, the president emphasized. ... In spite of campus opposition, legal experts say restorative justice strategies can give victims more say, and have been shown to reduce post-traumatic stress.

The criticism that's resulted from this particular decision seems almost exactly opposite to the criticism from NDP leader Thomas Mulcair regarding how Justin Trudeau proceeded in responding to complaints alleging sexual harassment and assault. I doubt it's particularly controversial to suggest that you probably want to penalize sexual assault (assuming it took place) more than you want to penalize nasty remarks.

A Change.org petition which I've seen a number of people supporting had the following update to it:

it is absolutely unfair to lay the responsibly of this decision on the victims. Many of them did not come forward in the past fearing reprisal, further harassment and else. How is it reasonable to ask them what route (informal or formal) should the University take? Our own justice system recognizes this. Would we ask the victims (male or female) of robbery, assault, harassment, attempted murder, etc. if they would like to see their attackers imprisoned? No. It is understood that most would, at the very least, feel uncomfortable having to make that decision. Their attackers know them, their faces, their names, their addressees, their places of work, etc. This issue is so understood that, for example, in cases of domestic violence, the crown is the one to press charges on behalf of them.

One thing that's been found though is that a lack of discretion in the types of consequences to impose in cases of domestic violence, can result in more dead women rather than fewer, due to the women in question not being stereotypical man-haters.

The two cases juxtaposed against each other seem to be an interesting illustration of how the idea of "restorative justice" can be controversial - though with these cases likely not as controversial as what was covered in an NYT piece on restorative justice in a murder trial - Can Forgiveness Play a Role in Criminal Justice?. I tend to look at a lot of the more-left-leaning comments on this subject as often being equally as unhelpful as a lot of the "getting tough on crime" rhetoric associated with conservatives.