Addiction
I came across this idea once before, but it was brought back to my mind recently by a presenter at TED:
So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain and study this madness. Our first study of people who were happily in love has been widely publicized, so I'm only going to say a very little about it. We found activity in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain called the ventral tegmental area. We found activity in some cells called the ApEn cells. Cells that actually make dopamine, a natural stimulant, and spray it to many brain regions. Indeed this part, the VTA, is part of the brain's reward system. It's way below your cognitive thinking process. It's below your emotions. It's part of what we call the reptilian core of the brain, associated with wanting, with motivation, with focus and with craving. In fact, the same brain region where we found activity becomes active also when you feel the rush of cocaine.
... I've also come to believe that romantic love is an addiction: a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly. And indeed, it has all of the characteristics of addiction. You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them, you crave them, you distort reality, your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person. And it's got the three main characteristics of addiction. Tolerance --you need to see them more, and more, and more -- withdrawals, and last, relapse. I've got a girlfriend who's just getting over a terrible love affair, it's been about eight months, she's beginning to feel better. And she was driving along in her car the other day, and suddenly she heard a song on the car radio that reminded her of this man. And she -- not only did the instant craving come back, but she had to pull over from the side of the road and cry. So, one thing I would like the medical community, and the legal community, and even the college community, to see if they can understand, that indeed, romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.
Last week I was chatting with a Muslim guy about the system of arranged marriage which still dominates within his country of origin. Certain specifics I might disagree on, but overall I think I can agree - and that modern brain science demonstrates - that the system of dating as currently practiced in most of the Western World is likely to produce poor marriages.
When coming from other sources, addiction or intoxication often leaves you legally incapable of entering into a contract and/or permitted to invalidate the contract once no longer intoxicated. (Sounds suspiciously like Western divorce law.)