How feminist is she?

The first feminist thing about our wedding was the nature of the proposal. I do not believe that men have to propose to women, but neither did I feel comfortable proposing myself. If he had said yes, how would I ever have believed he wanted it as much as me, rather than saying yes to keep me quiet? After many conversations about whether we would get married, and, in fact, after we had provisionally booked our venue, I insisted on a proposal. He duly went away and planned my nonsurprise, popping the question on a hill overlooking our beloved London, followed by a fancy dinner.

Source: My Feminist Wedding in the Times Online

Frankly this sounds like some sort of complementarian view of marriage of marriage wrapped up in a feminist label. How does requiring a man to propose to a woman (in this case the author of the article) represent a feminist viewpoint? (I'd argue that what she demands or doesn't demand of others in society is basically irrelevant here).

On the other side of the spectrum, note the following observation from page 190 of Jean Twenge's book Generation Me:

I wasn't entirely certain what the pattern would look like - after all, weren't the 1980s a more conservative decade than the 1970s? In 1991, Susan Faludi had argued that there was a Backlash against feminism during the decade of Reagan and the Moral Majority. So would attitudes toward women slide backwards during the 1980s?

Nope. Attitudes about women's roles continued to become more egalitarian throughout the 1980s and into the early 1990s. Although Faludi was right that the media in the 1980s was not profeminist, young people seemed to ignore this. The change over the three decades was also substantial. The average 1990s college woman had more feminist attitudes than 87% of her counterparts in the early 1970s, and the average 1990s college man had more feminist attitudes than 82% of early 1970s college men. What was once the province of hippies and radicals had become mainstream. At least the attitudes had, even if the labels hadn't. As Paula Kamen found in her 1991 book Feminist Fatale, young women believed in feminist values but rejected the label "feminist" (prompting the frequent statement, "I'm not a feminist, but ...," after which the young woman makes a strong statement about equality between sexes).

The feminists are complementarians in disguise, and the complementarians are feminist. I'm confused.